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Lesson
One: The
Why Exceptional? Theme
Theme 2: Why I Am an Exceptional Person This theme is often tied in closely with "why I am a qualified person." Be very clear on the difference, though; the latter focuses specifically on your experience (medical or otherwise) that qualifies you to be a better medical student, while the former focuses strictly on you as a person. Committees are always on the lookout for well-rounded candidates. They want to see that you are interesting, involved, and tied to the community around you. To help you think about how to support this theme, look at your answers to the exercises from the last lesson and ask yourself: What makes me different? Do I have any special talents or abilities that might make me more interesting? How will my skills and personality traits add diversity to the class? What makes me stand out from the crowd? How will this help me to be a better physician and student? If you are creative, you'll be able to take whatever makes you different and turn it to your advantage. The Talented Among Us If you are one of a lucky few who have an outstanding talent or ability, now is no time to hide it. Whether you are a star athlete, an opera singer, or a violin virtuoso, by all means make it a focus of your essay. These people can be some of the strongest of candidates. Assuming, always, that they've excelled in the required preparatory coursework, the other strengths can take them over the top. Athletes, musicians, and others can make the compelling case of excellence, achievement, discipline, mastering a subject/talent and leveraging their abilities. Medical schools are full of these types; they thrive by bringing high achievers who possess intellectual ability into their realm. If you do plan to focus on a strength outside the field of medicine, your challenge becomes one of how to tie the experience of that ability into your motivation for becoming a doctor. This Harvard applicant begins with a description of an African drum performance during a Catholic Mass, and then ties nicely back to the musical theme in the last line. Students of Diversity If you are diverse in any sense of the word -- an older applicant, a minority, a foreign applicant, or disabled -- use it to your advantage by showing what your unique background will bring to the school and to the practice of medicine. Some admissions officers, however, warn against using minority status as a qualification instead of a quality. If you fall into this trap, your diversity will work against you. If you are a "student of diversity," then of course, use it. But don't harp on it for it's own sake or think that being diverse by itself is enough to get you in; that will only make us feel manipulated and it will show that you didn't know how to take advantage of a good opportunity. So just be sure you tie it in with either your motivation or your argument for why your diversity makes you a better candidate. Latecomers and Career Switchers You need not be a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, disabled, or an athlete or musician to be considered diverse. There are, for example, those who have had experience in or prepared themselves for totally different fields. This essay was written by an archaeology student who was looking to switch careers. If you plan to write such an essay, be sure to give succinct reasons for wanting to go into medicine and show evidence of sincere and intensive preparation for your new chosen field. English Majors and Theater People Not everyone who is accepted to medical school has a hard-core science background. This essay opens with the author's involvement in a play, and she openly admits that she was initially turned off by science and math. The secret of all these essays is that they know how to turn their potential weaknesses into strengths. They point out that communication is an integral part of being a doctor, and discuss the advantages of their well-rounded backgrounds. They are also very careful to demonstrate their motivation and qualifications in detail and with solid evidence to offset worries that their non-science backgrounds may have given them an unrealistic view of a doctor's life or that they might be unable to cope with the science courses at medical school. Taking Advantage of International Experience Many applicants have international experience. So, while it may not set you apart in a completely unique way, it is always worthwhile to demonstrate your cross-cultural experience and sensitivity. This applicant is especially strong in the area of international experience. This exceptional man worked as a farmhand in Hungary and an orderly in the former Soviet Union, financed the first hospital in Estonia, and organized a mission to deliver medical supplies to refugees in Bosnia. Notice that this
applicant went beyond simply writing about his experiences to relating
them either to his motivation and qualifications. Do not expect the
committee to make these leaps for you; you need to put it in your own
words and make the connections clear. Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here. Musician/Drummer; Religious Catholic; Science and Math Tutor; Cancer Research Experience The beating of an African healing drum resonates throughout all corners of the Catholic church during the weekly five o'clock student mass. As I progressively increase the tempo and intensity of the resounding Guaguanca polyrhythm that I am playing, the congregation begins to sway back and forth to the beat. Soon the members start clapping in unison on the quarter notes. By the end of the hymn, they are dancing in place and singing along in high spirits. The mass is truly a celebration. While a drumming performance in church may appear a little unorthodox, the concept of rhythm has never seemed very offbeat to me. Music has always been a motivating passion in my life. My desire to play percussion was evident as early as third grade, when I would tap my pencil on the top of my classroom desk and kick the chair in front to simulate a bass drum. Rhythm seemed so fundamental to me. Besides being bombarded with it through popular pop music, I could hear it in every tick of the clock, each person's gait, my own heartbeat. I longed to master it-to be able to manipulate it, incorporate it into my own being, and then finally convey it to others. I began drum lessons. After seven years of basic mechanical training, I developed my own style. Talent shows, parties, dances, even religious ceremonies became forums for my expression. I joined a band in high school which became the ticket to a performance in Disneyworld. As a Christian Service project, my rock band performed at various inner-city grammar schools, hospitals, and nursing homes. In college, my main band became known as Harvard's newest sensation. Soon we found ourselves performing in various clubs, parties, and school-sponsored concerts, and our recording culminated in the production of a CD. I even began to convey my knowledge to a beginner, and had the pleasure of watching him grow in much the same manner as I had. The musical frontier seemed limitless. Concurrently, my passion for science began to crystallize. I had always participated in the annual school science fairs and after-school science-related activities, but it was not until high school that I really began to appreciate my penchant for scientific reasoning. After learning the fundamental concepts, I sought any opportunity to demonstrate them in a creative manner. Everything was a puzzle. In an extracurricular high school program, I constructed a Bausch & Lomb award-winning contraption which integrated numerous laws of physics. I took this a step further when I began to realize that I could demonstrate my love for science in a way that could benefit others. I volunteered full-time in the emergency room of a local hospital during the last trimester of senior year. It was here that I caught my first glimpse of hands-on medicine. During the next few years, I tutored high school students in science and math. In addition to the personal satisfaction obtained from observing their progress, this provided an excellent opportunity to hone my communication and teaching skills. Last summer, I worked in a cancer research laboratory in Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital, attempting to isolate a gene that encoded for limb development in Drosophila. By September, our team had fully mapped and cloned Chip and was preparing for publication. Senior thesis work on comparative avian, reptilian, and mammalian bone morphology also enabled me to integrate rudimentary mechanics and personal interaction with professors and fellow peers. It has become clear that the most attractive features to me in the diverse fields of science and music are one and the same. Music is a creative art form that conveys feelings and emotions in a manner unlike any other form of expression. It is, in a sense, a fascinating language with universal appeal. Science is both an art form and an exercise in methodology. Part of its nature is strictly mechanistic, yet its application is also an exercise in expression and communication. I certainly appreciate the beauty and elegance of the underlying principles in both disciplines. However, it is the expression of these ideas and subsequent communication to others that inspires me the most. My devotion to science and music has had a complimentary effect that has served both to enhance my method of thinking and to fulfill my yearning to communicate. I hope to continue to relate with others in the field of medicine, where creative application of science and keen expression is essential. I know that my concept of the rhythm of life will help keep me grounded in the fundamentals as I strive to convey and apply my knowledge and gifts to others. Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here. Archeology Thesis Analyzing Bones of Prehistoric Woman As part of my senior thesis, I learned the remarkable story of a woman. I learned her story not through words but through her bones. My thesis consisted of cataloging, collecting data and analyzing a skeletal collection, consisting of this woman and approximately twenty-five other Chugach Eskimo excavated in the 1930's. They were to be reburied as part of the mandated repatriation of Native American remains. I volunteered to catalog the collection by myself to gather data for my senior thesis. These data now serve as the permanent record for the collection at the University Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology at the University of Pennsylvania. This woman, known simply to me as Palutat Cave B-1, gradually unfolded to me the extraordinary story of her life by letting what remained of her body speak for her. She was a battered woman. Her bones bore the marks traditionally associated with battering. She had three healed wounds in the back of the skull, believed to be the result of her attempts to escape her batterer only to be struck in the head from behind. From X-ray films, it was learned that her left forearm had also been broken (parry fracture) as she attempted to ward off blows. It is very possible that she was battered much more often than her wounds indicate. Clearly only a small fraction of blows are strong enough to leave their mark on the skeleton. At some point, infection entered the wounds to her left forearm, and osteomyelitis set in. The osteomyelitis became severe and spread to her wrist and elbow. Somehow, she managed to live for at least another year. Eventually there was complete ankylosis of the carpals, and virtually all cortical bone in the radius and ulna was lost. Thus her forearm was rendered dysfunctional. During that time, her left humerus and scapula underwent substantial disuse atrophy, a clear indication that the arm was of no use to her. Instead she used her teeth to hold objects and assist in the performance of daily tasks, as shown by the greatly increased amount of wear on her incisors. Yet somehow, she managed to live to the age where the protein-rich diet of the Chugach takes it toll in the form of osteoporosis. Probably unrelated to previous trauma, her T12 vertebra had collapsed. Although aging an archeological sample is more art than science, she most likely died in her thirties. After sixty years in the University Museum, Palutat Cave B-1 is now at home and at peace in Prince William Sound, Alaska, in a cedar coffin made by her descendants. I am grateful for the extraordinary opportunity I had to learn part of her story. Although it is difficult to speculate about temperament or attitude, this woman must have been strong and determined to have survived as long as she did. Her life was clearly filled with physical pain. As I put together her story, I began to feel for this woman who had struggled so hard to survive. It was a strange feeling to be able to piece together this woman's story of pain by the scars it had left on her bones. I felt both impressed by this woman who had survived so much and excited for having been able to extract so much information from bones alone. I had enjoyed it, but in the end, I could do nothing to help her. My experience with Palutat Cave B-1 and the rest of the Chugach collection has given me a great respect for the ability of the human body to adapt to adversity. I saw firsthand the results of the skeletal system's response to stressful conditions: trauma, disease, and inadequate nutrition. I am still amazed at the efficiency of the skeletal system and its incredible ability to deal with adverse conditions. To a large extent, my choice to become a physician is rooted in my desire to continue to work with the human body. But I want to work with the living. I want to work with people I can help. As a physician, I will be able to assist the human body in the healing process. Though my work with the Chugach collection inspired me to learn more about the human body, it lacked the element of genuine human interaction. This is a feature of medicine I have found to be especially appealing in my experience since graduating from Penn. I want to continue to learn and to discover more about the human body through work with people and through the study of medicine. Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here. Liberal Arts/Theater Background; Lab Experience in Reproductive Ecology; Teaching Assistant; Clinical Research Experience and Women's Clinic Volunteer It was opening night. I was about to walk on stage as Ruth in The Pirates of Penzance. Any sane actor would be singing scales, or meditating, or reviewing dialogue. I was spitting into a test tube. Later, I would assay the saliva for cortisol and compare the results with my normal cortisol levels. Discovering what was happening in my body as the curtain prepared to rise was worth the temporary distraction from the pirate king. "Spit happens," as we say in my lab. Spit happened to me during the summer after my sophomore year in college. I worked in the Reproductive Ecology Laboratory at Harvard University, measuring steroid hormones in saliva by radioimmunoassay. I had never considered my self a science whiz, and I took the job with a little trepidation. I pipetted until my thumb ached and washed an endless stream of glassware, but the end result was something amazing. With those tiny vials of saliva, I could track my menstrual cycle. I could measure my brother's testosterone levels, or my own-which I hadn't even known I had. I realized that I was doing science. I was doing it well and enjoying it. I went on to complete my senior honors thesis on the relationship between cortisol levels and temperament in shy adolescents. In the lab, I discovered the fascination of research and the discipline needed to carry it out. I am excited to be continuing my work there as a researcher and teaching assistant for the 1993-94 school year. About the same time spit happened to me, I found myself writing research papers on a consistent set of themes. For my women's history class, I wrote about the turn of the century movement for "twilight sleep" anesthesia in childbirth. For my sophomore tutorial in anthropology, I researched the effects of social support on the duration and complications of labor and delivery. For my sociology class, I investigated the controversy surrounding the Depo Provera contraceptive. My passion for these topics and my interest in science fueled a growing desire to go to medical school. I began taking pre-med classes and continued pursuing these interests, both in and out of the classroom. At Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge, Illinois, I studied patients who had undergone laparoscopic surgery for uterine fibroids and ovarian cysts. While gathering clinical data, reading literature, and observing surgeries, I was amazed by the results of such non-invasive techniques, and had visions of holding the laparoscope myself in a few years. I enjoyed being part of the rhythms of a busy obstetrics and gynecology practice and solidified my desire to be a doctor. As a volunteer in a women's health clinic in Boston, during my senior year in college, I answered phones and made appointments and referrals. I discovered how much good I could do just by listening and focusing my attention on the person on the phone. That simple act did so much to alleviate a woman's worries and uncertainties. I also learned to treat each patient with fairness and decency, regardless of her circumstances. I know that the things I can accomplish listening with the additional skills of a physician are extraordinary. Much of my remaining spare time in college was spent working in theater. While president of the Harvard-Radcliffe Gilbert and Sullivan Players, I led a board of fifteen strong-willed, outspoken peers. I made sure each person was heard in discussions and that the group remained focused. As producer of several plays, I was thrilled to watch the curtain rise, knowing I had harnessed the energies and talents of dozens of people to make the show happen. Through my work in theater, I learned to keep my stress levels reasonable and my temper intact while juggling innumerable tasks- usually on very few hours of sleep. In college, I became one part scientist, one part counselor, and one part leader. My interest in how our bodies work and how we relate to those bodies continues to grow in tandem with my vision of myself as a physician. I know that with the skills I gained in college, from techniques in the laboratory to group leadership in theater production to listening and compassion on the clinic telephone, I am well prepared to enter medical school. And I can't wait to see what it does to my cortisol levels. Note: This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes. Essays edited by EssayEdge are substantially improved. For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click here. Worked on Grandfather's Farm in Hungary; Orderly/ Surgery Assistant in Former U.S.S.R.; Organized Financing for First Private Hospital in Estonia and Mission for Bosnian Refugees In communist Hungary in 1986 ownership of property meant certain things. It meant that you were envyed by your neighbors. It meant that you were mistrusted by the state. It meant that you were prohibited by a government which feared the reemergence of a landed aristocracy from purchasing machinery or hiring laborers. Above all it meant you held on to your land for all you were worth and cherished it as your most precious family heirloom. In 1986 and in the following summer, my parents sent my sister and I to Hungary to work on my Grandparent's farm as they were getting old and unable to manage it any longer on their own, particularly in light of the communist restrictions on private landowners. I woke up at five, harvested hay by hand, tended the cows, and spread manure. I used the same tools my great-grandfather used and on the same land that he had tended a century ago. A fifteen year old boy with little sense of responsibility or of himself, the experience hit me with the force of a cyclone. In 1993 I was awarded a fellowship to work in the health sector of the former Estonian Republic of the U.S.S.R. I was employed as an orderly in the operating theater of what was once the elite Communist Party hospital. I assisted in surgery, performed twenty-four hour shifts, distributed humanitarian aid, and wrote reports for the Ministry of Health that went from my hands to the directors of the World Bank and U.N. World Health Organization. The experience cemented my plans for becoming a physician and also convinced me that I wanted a career with policy- and theory-shaping responsibilities beyond those of the ordinary doctor. In addition to being entrusted with work no twenty-one year old in America would be allowed to perform. I saw history being written before my eyes. I got a sense of the degree to which an individual, with enough motivation and a few good ideas, can be an effective force for positive change. I understood the responsibility and the capacity we all have to work for the good of society. The experience was tremendously empowering as it gave me the perspective and self confidence to attempt to seize the future and the ambition to attempt to change the world to the degree I can. With two other Columbia students and a group of Estonian doctors I organized an attempt to finance the first private hospital in Estonia which indirectly contributed to the first Estonian laws on health care privatization and reform. Since my return I have with another Columbia student organized a mission to travel to the N. camp in southern Hungary to distribute clothing and medical supplies to the Bosnian refugees. My role has been in the obtaining of funds and in acting as an intermediary between our group of 10 Columbia University students, two of whom spent this past summer working in the camp, and Hungarian officials here and in Hungary. I became an adult during my first summer in Hungary. The same changes that have allowed my grandfather to hold onto his land allowed me to first test in Estonia the wings I had developed years earlier. I hope to use those wings make an impact on medical science. Genetics and biochemistry represent the future of medicine and the area in which someone with ambition, a desire to work for the public good, and the necessary technical background could make the most significant contribution. Motivation, independence, maturity, precisely those qualities my experiences in Eastern Europe instilled, will be essential to a fruitful career. I can imagine none potentially more fulfilling, nor a more worthy aim for my life's work, than connecting the worlds of medical science and international public health.
From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
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